Words from my father

With my dad in the Scottish Highlands last September

This Father’s Day is special to me because it is the first in which I too share in the joy of being a father. In roughly four months, my wife and I will welcome a little girl into the world, changing our lives forever. Ultrasounds display that she is already quite active and healthy, and we praise God for this news.

Regrettably, oceans and continents separate me from being able to share this Father’s Day with my dad. On this occasion, however, I am reminded of the strong example of godly manhood and parenting he lived out daily in our home. I am reminded of the sand castles we built on Lake Michigan, when he taught me not to fear the chilling darkness that came from turning out the light, and the hours he spent with me playing street hockey on roller blades in our driveway. From my dad I caught the adventurous spirit that loves to travel to new lands. From my dad I learned that family experiences always hold greater value than family possessions.

In particular, there at least five lessons I learned from my dad. These lessons are all but ingrained in my DNA. These lessons I will happily pass on to my daughter:

1.      We are not quitters. Honestly, I cannot remember my dad ever quitting at anything. I’m sure he has at points in his life, but it must be so rare that I cannot recall a single instance. Always finish what you start, my dad taught. 


2.      Love your family deeply. Family is a constant in a changing life. Kiss your wife when your children are watching. Cheer on your daughter’s ballet recital. Rehearse your son’s lines for the school play with him. Even though other parents are tanning on the deck, jump in the pool with your kids and make memories.

3.      Accord others your full attention. In a world of digital overload, I have always been amazed at my dad’s ability to look others in the eye and truly care about what they are saying. It will not do to keep your earbuds in while other family members are sitting around talking. Be all there.

4.      Recognize the full meaning of the phrase “I love you.” I remember the talk when I was in fifth grade and my dad communicated that “I love you” is shorthand for “I’d be willing to die for you.” It is a powerful phrase, he said, and we must not say it if we don’t really mean it.

5.      Love Christ above all else. Every single day, without fail, my dad would lead us in prayer before meals. I am so blessed to have a father who regularly prays and sings to our mutual Heavenly Father. Never once did my brother, sister, and I question his love for Christ.

Each night, before going to sleep, my dad would enter my room to kiss me good night. Each night, like clockwork, my dad would ask the following call-and-response question:

            “I love you. And do you know why I love you?”

            “Because I’m your son.”

Of course I know, dad. And I always will.