Life at Christmas time: Between Ideal and Real

“He peed again.” Sigh.

Our second child was born on November 26, a boy we have named Noah. That makes Noah sixteen days old, and he is doing great. Noah is healthy, he is eating well, and at his two-week appointment the doctor said she couldn’t be more pleased.

Yet yesterday reality hit. Jessica’s parents went back to the US, leaving us with a full fridge of leftovers and full hearts. Somehow during the three weeks they were here I was able to fit in a few hours of work each day (whether for our organization, my seminary classes I teach, or a journal article I’m writing). Because I don’t have an office, I do all my computer work at home. Wedged in as I am now between the giant stuffed Mickey Mouse beside me, the blaring Daniel Tiger on TV, and my toddler who stays still about five seconds and then sprints around the room, quiet seems to elude me these days. I find myself having several recurring thoughts:

Who knew that newborn boys could pee so much?

Where did the day go?

Why can’t I seem to answer these work emails faster?

Was that Noah crying again?

When are we going to get these dishes done?

Who knew that newborn boys could pee so much?

I am reminded, though, to count my blessings. ‘Tis the season to count our blessings, after all. There is also a pattern that appears in my life: busy times with lots of deadlines lead to rigorous goal-setting. In order to accomplish everything, I’ll need to finish this task by this day and that task by that day. But task orientation is usurped, and rightly so, by human variables. Especially if those human variables are little humans.

So here I sit at the end of the day. Did I accomplish everything on my list? No. Is the world going to end? No.

To my right sits our Christmas tree. It is not big. It is not real. Not all the branches are covered with ornaments. Yet the ones we do have up all hold memories that began with my marriage to Jessica 7 ½ years ago. Our toddler helped with the tinsel this year, so it is humorously lopsided looking. The star isn’t quite straight and not all the little lights shine. But I’m happy with our non-ideal tree. And yes, I’m happy with non-ideal days like this one.

Because the non-ideal waits and longs for the ideal beyond ourselves. Like Christmas.